Friday, May 27, 2011

The Unknown

Yes that is how I feel.  Sometimes I look around me and I feel everything that is happening is surreal: how, when, why????? the questions all have an unknown answer.  The only thing I know is that I am home with my 3 nenes everyday trying to do my best.  

Samia you wonder allot this days you don't know what is going on and I can sense a feeling of uneasiness when it comes to separation, you are so afraid that I am going to leave you.  The other day you were crying asking me if I was going to leave.  Nena always remember that what happen was not your fault nor your sister or brother.  One day you will get an answer and at that moment I might know as well what happen.  

Today has not being an easy day it was a call to reality that nothing is real that words are shit (yes nenes actions speak louder than words, always remember that).

Hoy tengo rabia tengo sentimiento me pregunto como cuando por que que paso si me quede dormida y me movieron la cama.  Solo me acuerdo de las mentiras de los enganos y de que aunque es duro estar sola con los tres ninos en un lugar sin familia se que un dia las cosas seran diferentes y que Dios me llevara por este camino.  Que lo que tenia por marido era una falsa.  Que una persona que se puede desprender de sus hijos tan facil no merece nada de concideracion.

Days go by the summer is here so I am home with the kids most of the time...nenes is not easy but trust me I try my best to make it as enjoyable as possible.

 Milo the other day we were playing with your hair saying you were tangled and you had so much fun while I fix your hair and made it straight.

We had fun playing with the hose.

Oh Samia you being practicing your alphabet and learning how to drive a bicycle, hopefully I can buy you one soon.

We are not moving anymore hopefully we can stay in the house, nenes I think a new house would be too many changes.  I am hoping you can also do swimming this summer like last year.


AlabasterMuslim said...

Your children are beautiful, and you are a strong woman! I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time, inshallah you WILL make it through though!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you are going through this
However, it is very important for a muslim man to see his children raised as muslims, did you ever considered that as one of your problems?

.::Tuttie::. said...

I missed the post, I didn't know he left his kids. InshaAllah grants him wisdom, understanding and compassion towards his kids and he does the right thing. AMEEN.

HUGS, if only I lived closer. Is there anyway for you to move back closer to your family?

I don't know what is going on but may you be granted peace and tranquility in your heart and home. ameen

Anonymous said...

I hope baba will come back soon, the children love him and he loves you all too. Forgiveness and patience are important.